EmOranges

food, literature, kink; queer, feminist, sex positive

Teaching Consent to Small Children

mysalivaismygifttotheworld:

afrafemme:

A friend and I were out with our kids when another family’s two-year-old came up. She began hugging my friend’s 18-month-old, following her around and smiling at her. My friend’s little girl looked like she wasn’t so sure she liked this, and at that moment the other little girl’s mom came up and got down on her little girl’s level to talk to her.

“Honey, can you listen to me for a moment? I’m glad you’ve found a new friend, but you need to make sure to look at her face to see if she likes it when you hug her. And if she doesn’t like it, you need to give her space. Okay?”

Two years old, and already her mother was teaching her about consent.

My daughter Sally likes to color on herself with markers. I tell her it’s her body, so it’s her choice. Sometimes she writes her name, sometimes she draws flowers or patterns. The other day I heard her talking to her brother, a marker in her hand.

“Bobby, do you mind if I color on your leg?”

Bobby smiled and moved himself closer to his sister. She began drawing a pattern on his leg with a marker while he watched, fascinated. Later, she began coloring on the sole of his foot. After each stoke, he pulled his foot back, laughing. I looked over to see what was causing the commotion, and Sally turned to me.

“He doesn’t mind if I do this,” she explained, “he is only moving his foot because it tickles. He thinks its funny.” And she was right. Already Bobby had extended his foot to her again, smiling as he did so.

What I find really fascinating about these two anecdotes is that they both deal with the consent of children not yet old enough to communicate verbally. In both stories, the older child must read the consent of the younger child through nonverbal cues. And even then, consent is not this ambiguous thing that is difficult to understand.

Teaching consent is ongoing, but it starts when children are very young. It involves both teaching children to pay attention to and respect others’ consent (or lack thereof) and teaching children that they should expect their own bodies and their own space to be respected—even by their parents and other relatives.

And if children of two or four can be expected to read the nonverbal cues and expressions of children not yet old enough to talk in order to assess whether there is consent, what excuse do full grown adults have?

I try to do this every day I go to nursery and gosh it makes me so happy to see it done elsewhere.

(via creepingfeminism)

mistertorn:

delilahfrayed:

Here tumblr have a butt you clearly haven’t had enough today.

So Delilah took this sneaky picture of my handiwork (no wait - caneywork? Caniwork?) when she was staying over here, and I just noticed she posted it on her tumblr. Double sneaky!
You should go follow her by the way. Her blog is pretty cool and she’s hot and dirty and stuff and I like to do the kinky with her quite a lot.

mistertorn:

delilahfrayed:

Here tumblr have a butt you clearly haven’t had enough today.

So Delilah took this sneaky picture of my handiwork (no wait - caneywork? Caniwork?) when she was staying over here, and I just noticed she posted it on her tumblr. Double sneaky!

You should go follow her by the way. Her blog is pretty cool and she’s hot and dirty and stuff and I like to do the kinky with her quite a lot.

jessepnkman:

ladies, if a guy doesn’t eat pussy but still expects to get his dick sucked… laugh right in his face. laugh as you put your clothes back on. leave the room in the midst of your laughter. go home while laughing. keep laughing for the rest of your life. never stop laughing.

(via feminismandhappiness)